"She's young but she likes old things."
as daft punk walk onstage to accept their grammy they remove their helmets to reveal they are both ashton kutcher and you’ve all been Daft Punk’d
All these “cuddle and play video games” date ideas are weak. We’re playing mario kart double dash, cuddling is a distraction. Im here to win
IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER
YOU GOTTA GET away from my friends because they’re more attractive looking and cooler than me and you might choose them instead which i completely understand because im ugly
she reaches down seductively. I guide her hand to my zipper. she unzips my fanny pack by mistake. raviolis spill out everywhere
losing him was blood orange
i hate when a more attractive person has a crush on the same person i do
It’s like performing in a talent show and finding out that Beyonce is going on before you
do kids honestly get peer pressured into doing drugs because i havent ever even seen a marijuana in my 19 years of life
"ARE WE REALLY HITTING ON EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW OR ARE WE KIDDING?!!" The Musical.
*runs after garbage truck* WAIT!!!!! YOU FORGOT ME!!!!!